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Overcoming Difficulties

Developing your sexual potential means finding enough time to devote to sex. This means that to feel the pleasure, a woman has to believe she deserves it, that she is important (at least as important as her partner and those she cares for). Orgasm is a natural and normal release of sexual tension. A number of common fears, false expectations, and misinformation however lead to large numbers of women failing to reach their sexual potential.


Myths & Fears About Women's Orgasm:

The man is responsible for a woman's orgasm, because he's the authority on sex.
It may sound old-fashioned, but once we get into the bedroom, people's ideas of how things should be tend to revert to another era. The truth is, men are no more experts on human sexuality than women. No one knows your body better than you do. It's your own responsibility to relax enough to allow yourself an orgasm. Unfortunately, no one's going to do it for you. You're in control.

Orgasm should occur through intercourse alone.
See the section on vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms to dispel this myth. Remember, the clitoris is the female sex organ, not the vagina!

Shame or disgust about sex can lead to sexual repression.
This is true. Depending upon what you learned as a child about sex, expressing your own sexuality can be seen as shameful or wrong. This is something that can be "unlearned" as you develop the fullness of your own sexuality.

I'll look ugly when I orgasm. I might lose control.
Most men (and women, too) think women look beautiful when they're ecstatic during orgasm. Sure, you might lose control, but isn't that what release is all about?

I'm afraid I won't have an orgasm and I'll be a failure.
By deciding ahead of time that you'll fail, you set yourself up so you don't have to do anything positive to have one! It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Becoming orgasmic means pushing past your fears and making strides towards embracing your own sexuality.

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