Overcoming Difficulties
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Developing your
sexual potential means finding enough time to devote to sex. This means
that to feel the pleasure, a woman has to believe she deserves it, that
she is important (at least as important as her partner and those she cares
for). Orgasm is a natural and normal release of sexual tension. A number
of common fears, false expectations, and misinformation however lead to
large numbers of women failing to reach their sexual potential.
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Myths & Fears About Women's
Orgasm:
The man is
responsible for a woman's orgasm, because he's the authority on
sex.
It may sound old-fashioned, but once we get into
the bedroom, people's ideas of how things should be tend to revert to
another era. The truth is, men are no more experts on human sexuality than
women. No one knows your body better than you do. It's your own
responsibility to relax enough to allow yourself an orgasm. Unfortunately,
no one's going to do it for you. You're in control.
Orgasm should occur
through intercourse alone.
See the section on vaginal
vs. clitoral orgasms to dispel this myth. Remember, the clitoris is
the female sex organ, not the vagina!
Shame or disgust
about sex can lead to sexual repression.
This is true.
Depending upon what you learned as a child about sex, expressing your own
sexuality can be seen as shameful or wrong. This is something that can be
"unlearned" as you develop the fullness of your own
sexuality.
I'll look ugly when
I orgasm. I might lose control.
Most men (and women,
too) think women look beautiful when they're ecstatic during orgasm. Sure,
you might lose control, but isn't that what release is all
about?
I'm afraid I won't
have an orgasm and I'll be a failure.
By deciding ahead
of time that you'll fail, you set yourself up so you don't have to do
anything positive to have one! It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Becoming
orgasmic means pushing past your fears and making strides towards
embracing your own sexuality.
