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Information for Partners
Many women experience difficulties reaching orgasm with a lover for many reasons. Following are some of the more common ones.

  • You're too busy in your head -- thinking about how aroused you are or aren't, what your partner thinks of you, whether s/he can keep the movement going, etc. You think too much, instead of focusing on the sensations of what's going on sexually.
  • You may be afraid that you won't orgasm. So you don't even bother trying and end up completely repressing your sexual response.
  • You're afraid of seeming demanding by asking too much of your partner (that is, asking to be stimulated the way you like it, and the way you know it works).
  • You're afraid that if your partner concentrates on your pleasure only, you'll feel too much pressure to come, leaving you incapacitated sexually.
  • You and your partner are trying too hard to have simultaneous orgasms. Given that they're pretty difficult to do, the trying could certainly get in the way.
  • You're conflicted about your relationship with your partner. Or you're angry with him/her. Unconsciously then, you hold back your orgasm as a way of protecting yourself.
  • You've always thought of sex as something dirty or something that you shouldn't enjoy. The guilt then gets in the way of your true enjoyment of the experience.
  • You rush into sex with your partner. You're not leaving yourself enough time to get fully aroused and come to climax. Your orgasm ends up getting pushed aside during sex.

If any of these ring true, don't blame yourself. Many women have problems with their partners or at certain times in their lives.

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