| Faking
Orgasm
There is such a
heavy emphasis on orgasm during sex that many people believe that if their
partner doesn't have an orgasm, the sex wasn't good. In fact, some men and
women think they have to generate not one but multiple orgasms for their
partner each time they have sex. And the orgasms have to be quick and
loud, so that they can feel good about themselves and their sexual
prowess.
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When a woman's partner is a man, it is
physiologically easier for them (the man) to orgasm -- it takes much less
time, and intercourse is designed to stimulate the male sexual organ. It
takes women longer to lubricate, engorge, and release, and it takes some
extra manual or oral stimulation. In order to make their men rest easy,
many women do fake those quick, noisy orgasms that the guys often seem to
want.
So, how do you know if a woman's
faking it or not?
Ask her -- just not while she's in the
throes of passion or right after you've made love. Ask her at a neutral
time, when you both are feeling relaxed and good about the relationship.
Ask her if she's ever felt pressured to fake an orgasm.
If she says yes, ask her about the
circumstances surrounding it. This is a great opportunity for to find out
what she likes in bed and to let her know if there's anything you'd like
to be different, too. There's a good chance that your sex life will
improve significantly from the discussion.
