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Now here are some smart ones that had us in splits. Read on: if these gems don't make you double up with laughter, nothing else probably can
 
Never marry a software engineer. Just have a look at this conversation and then decide for yourself.

Husband - hi dear, i am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - bad command or file name.

Wife - but i told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort,retry,cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use,read only,try after some time.

Wife - atleast give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation,access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - too many parameters.

Wife - i will go to my dads house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation,it will close.

Wife - i will leave you for ever.
Husband - close all programs & log out for another user.

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Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - its now safe to turn off your computer.

STARRY NIGHTS

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
Sensibly Stupid!
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
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